Nicknames - Guest Article by David Tetlow
One of the reasons given for two high profile Advisers departing from the Prime Minister’s team last year is that they, allegedly, gave a demeaning nickname to his fiancee.
As someone who habitually invents alternative names for colleagues, this caused me to wonder if I had ever overstepped the mark, and also just what should you call someone at work?
Wikipedia describes a nickname as follows:
“A substitute for the proper name of a familiar person, place or thing. Commonly used to express affection, it is a form of endearment and amusement. In rarer cases, it can also be used to express defamation of character, particularly by school bullies.”
I don’t think I ever defamed anyone’s character. It was normally just a play on their name: Chris “Wilko” Wilkinson became “Roger”; Dianne Hammond became ‘Mrs Eggs” and Louise Cooper was “Elsie.” On other occasions it was because of something they were noted for – Debbie, who baked for the team each week, became Mrs Kipling – she did make exceedingly good cakes. Perhaps the closest to being cruel was when a senior manager, who became obsessed with pigeon droppings on the roof, became “El Guano”. This was the only name I never used face to face and, on reflection, probably did get close to rudeness because it was mocking him.
On occasions, nicknames can seem male and “clubby”. There has been a fashion to creating a nickname by adding “ers” to parts of surnames. I have been known as Tetters for decades, and it’s part of my e-mail address. It was better than being called “Duck” which was my school nick-name, initially because I ran in a funny way – so was an example of cruelty. Later I captained the school swimming team: an example of “nick-nominative determinative?”
So how should we refer to work colleagues?
Some people will say “what’s the problem, just use their name” That seems a bit dull.
When I was working at the Bank of England, a new Deputy Governor issued an instruction that the following approach to applying names should be used when forwarding memos:
- The most senior people – by Job Title (Mr Governor, Chief Cashier etc.)
- A more senior colleague – use their surname preceded by Mr or Mrs
- A peer – use their familiar name
- A slightly less senior person to yourself – use just initials
- A junior person – surname only.
That approach is, probably (?) and hopefully long gone, but at least it provided some clarity.
I don’t think any footballer is called by their proper name. They only seem to get “ee” or “o” added to their names, or parts of them. After a recent football international Gareth Southgate told the press that “Grealo” was man of the match – he was referring to Jack Grealish. How unimaginative!
There is, however, a concern that someone might feel upset by a “personal” nickname but is unwilling to speak up about it. This would be a form of bullying. I vaguely knew a red-haired player at West Ham who everyone called “Ginge”. He probably felt he had to accept it as part of the “banter”. It is potentially discriminatory and I wonder what he really thought about it.
A colleague at work who was younger than me became a grandmother – I started putting Granny in front of her surname, after the character in Postman Pat. Others picked up on it and started using it, which concerned me. Shortly afterwards she became my boss – I asked her if that meant I had to stop calling her Granny? She said, “No, of course not Tetters!”
My experience is that many people like to be given a nickname – it means someone has taken a bit of effort and thought about them. I have sensed disappointment when someone didn’t have a nickname, but you can’t “force one out” on demand. I struggled with Pam Longden – then noticed that her initial and surname used together spelt a pronounceable word. She became Mrs Plong-den and seemed happy as a result.
So I’m going to keep on giving people imaginative nicknames, but only if it is something I will use face to face with them and be careful to check that no-one is upset. Hopefully, it will never lead to my dismissal.
David has worked in a number of senior HR positions, both permanent and interim, in the Public and Not for Profit sectors after spending 22 years at the Bank of England Printing Works (where all the money is made!)
He has leadership experience in all aspects of HR.
He spent over 7 years as Head of HR Policy, Reward and Employee Relations at the British Red Cross before ceasing full-time work in August 2020. He has trained as a career counsellor and worked with a number of individuals to support them in thinking about the next stages of their working lives and then through the job application process.
He has a particular interest in jobs: how to design and describe them in ways that enable organisational and personal development and support performance management, reward strategies and recruitment. He has now entered what he describes as “Schrodinger’s retirement”: maybe working, maybe not. It just depends on who is asking and how interesting it sounds.
